


Crazy

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Birthday Presents, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 17:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18238286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: It's Merlin's sixtieth birthday and he fears Eggsy will do something sappy and romantic.  Eggsy does, but not in the way Merlin expects.





	Crazy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wyvernwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernwolf/gifts).



> Happy birthday to my sweet wyvernwolf. You beta for me without knowing you're doing it, you banter ideas with me...and above all, you are a friend with a huge heart and the ability to listen to me whine/rant on a continuing basis. Thank you and I hope you had a lovely day.

CRAZY

“Good morning, Merlin. You wanted to see me?” Harry strides into Merlin’s office with his cup of tea. Merlin frowns.

“Aye. Take a seat.” He leans back in his chair and glares at his best friend.

“What did I do now?” Harry asks with a sigh. 

“Ye are a bad influence on my husband.”

Harry stares at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“Ye heard me. Ye are a horrible influence and this is all your fault.”

Harry studies Merlin carefully. He looks normal, except his eyes are a bit wild. “Would you be so kind as to explain?”

“It is my birthday on Wednesday.”

“Yes.” Harry cannot keep the smile from his face. “Sixty. Finally. I’ve been waiting three years for this. Ever since I myself turned sixty.”

“I am aware,” Merlin snaps. “I know ye have been advising Eggsy as to what to do.”

“What to do?”

“For my birthday. Ye are a diehard romantic. Eggsy still thinks ye walk on water, even after all these years. He probably has taken actual notes on what you think is appropriate to celebrate a landmark birthday.”

“Merlin…”

“There will more than likely be flowers. And an intimate dinner. And he will probably have a string quartet playing in the parlor.”

“Merlin…”

“He will waken me with gentle kisses and perhaps run me a bubble bath…where he will snuggle me against his chest and tell me why he loves me.”

“Hamish, for fuck’s sake!” Harry finally snaps. Merlin gapes at him. “Will you please be quiet?” Merlin nods. “We have absolutely NOT discussed your birthday, other than for me to ask for the name of a certain store you like so I may get you a gift.”

“I dinane believe ye,” Merlin says, squinting suspiciously.

“I cannot help that, but what I say is true,” Harry insists. “And if he did prepare something romantic like that…why are you so angry about it?”

“Because it is nae me…is nae us.” Merlin sighs. “We have our romantic moments, don’t get me wrong, but I just…I hate the idea of him planning something just because he thinks he SHOULD.”

Harry bursts out laughing, watching Merlin get red in the face. “Oh, Hamish, you have been with Eggsy for almost ten years, married for seven. When have you EVER known him to do something just because someone thinks he SHOULD?” Merlin tilts his head and seems to consider this idea. “He loves you. If he does anything…which he might not…it will be something he thinks you will enjoy.”

“I just…I want to be sincere in my thanks.”

“I cannot believe you have been worrying about this.” Harry stands. “And I’ll thank you not to blame me for things which have not yet happened…and probably will NOT happen.”

“My apologies,” Merlin mutters.

“Accepted. Have a good day.”

 

“And then Tristan turned, like this…” Eggsy twists himself and darts behind the door. “And like, the guy just FELL for it. It was ridiculous!” Eggsy crows, flopping down onto the sofa next to Merlin and panting for breath. He frowns when Merlin doesn’t respond. “Bruv, that was like BAFTA-worthy acting right there. Don’t I get at least, like, I dunno, a pat on the back or sommat?”

Merlin smiles faintly, as he always does when the estuary creeps back into Eggsy’s speech. Even at thirty-five, Eggsy’s still as boyish and exuberant as ever. “That was wonderful, Eggsy.” He dutifully pats Eggsy on the back.

“Everything okay, babe?” Eggsy leans his head on Merlin’s shoulder. “Feelin’ all right?”

Merlin sighs. “I am fine, lad. I promise.” Ever since the year before, after Harry’s minor heart attack, Eggsy has been extra attentive to Merlin’s health. Even when Merlin insists that Harry’s flair for the dramatic has heightened any cardiac issues he might have experienced, Eggsy stubbornly checks in with him on a regular basis. “I hope ye realize I dinnae want a party.”

Eggsy snorts. “Met ya, babe. Know a surprise party for you can only end in divorce for me.”

“Good boy,” Merlin says, giving him a more sincere pat on the back. 

“Idiot.” Merlin can almost hear Eggsy rolling his eyes. “What about a dinner party? Roxy’s back in town…could have her, an’ Harry, an’ Percival an’…”

“Nae, lad. Let me slide through this birthday as quietly as all the rest. Please.”

“All right.” Eggsy takes the news surprisingly well and it alarms Merlin.

“All right?” Merlin pulls away to look his husband in the eye. 

“Yeah. All right. No party, no fuss. Swear down.” He kisses Merlin on the nose and bounces off the sofa. “Curry. Let’s order in curry. Fucking DYING for curry.”

“Of course,” Merlin says absently, wondering what Twilight Zone episode he’s fallen into.

 

He wakes up on his birthday half afraid to open his eyes. He does, though, and sees his husband standing over him in his dressing gown. “Happy birthday, gorgeous.” Eggsy leans down and kisses him, his damp hair dripping onto the pillowcase just like always. “Shower’s free.”

“All right.” Merlin slowly sits up and rubs at his eyes. “Thank ye.” This is nothing out of the ordinary. Eggsy always gets up earlier, showers first, and wakens Merlin if he’s not up already. Usually Merlin wakes up early enough to listen to Eggsy singing in the shower, but he’s apparently missed the show this morning.

Merlin looks on the bed for a card or a note or a rose on the pillow. Nothing. He does smile when he opens the door to the en suite and sees a heart drawn on the steam-covered mirror. 

When he gets downstairs his oatmeal and fruit are waiting by his chair as always, and Eggsy is scrambling himself some eggs. “Pour the coffee?” Eggsy asks, and Merlin happily complies with the request. Eggsy brings the milk to the table along with his eggs and toast, saying, “Haz promised that Arthur would not keep Galahad or Merlin late today…so please do yer part. Wanna have a nice evening together, starting with us leaving HQ by five.”

“All right,” Merlin says suspiciously. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“No, you will leave HQ by five or you won’t live to see sixty-one,” Eggsy says sternly.

“Yes, dear,” Merlin says meekly, causing Eggsy to laugh.

They chat over their breakfast and quickly clean up. They take a cab to the shop together, climb onto the train together. Just like any other day. “Will you please relax?” Eggsy says finally. “I know you. You’re trying to find a loophole, some sort of hint as to what I have planned for you. You’re going to have a horrible day if you keep thinking this way.”

“I’m nae thinking ANY way.”

“Oh yes you are. You’re worried that a clown is going to jump out from behind a suit of armor with a big bunch of balloons. I would never do that.” Eggsy shivers. “For no other reason than the fact that clowns scare the ever living fuck outta me.”

“Ye are joking,” Merlin says in astonishment. “I never knew that!”

“Don’t exactly go bragging about it,” Eggsy mutters. “It’s an actual thing. Coulrophobia, irrational fear of clowns. Trust me, I looked it up.”

“Well, I appreciate ye not scaring either one of us with that,” Merlin tells him, patting his leg.

“No clowns, no people yelling surprise, no cake. Well, maybe cake, because I can’t stop Harry from doing what he wants, and Harry loves cake, as you well know.” The train stops and the door opens. “Just please realize that if anything happens today at HQ related to your birthday, it has nothing to do with me.”

Eggsy looks so sincere that Merlin has to believe him. “I believe ye, lad. Thank ye.” He gives him a kiss, just like he does every morning. 

“See you later. Have a nice birthday.” 

Merlin fearfully opens the door to his office. The only thing different is the medium-sized gift basket on his desk. He approaches it as if it’s a bomb, carefully inspecting it before sitting down and opening the card. “Merlin…happy sixtieth birthday, and may we both be around for you to enjoy many more. Your friend, Harry,” Merlin reads out loud. He smiles as he sees a pound of his favorite coffee, two bags of his favorite tea, and a box of his favorite biscuits. He locks them in a drawer of his desk; he knows Harry only gave them so he can enjoy them as well.

Merlin buries himself in his work and is surprised when his computer beeps to tell him it’s lunchtime. Eggsy has griped so often over the years about Merlin working and not eating that he finally sets an alarm for half-twelve, just to appease his husband. Merlin secretly loves the way Eggsy fusses over him, but he’ll never admit it.

When he enters the dining hall, he’s not really surprised to see Roxy, Michael, and Harry at a small table. “Happy birthday, Merlin.” Michael gives him a hug. 

“Thank ye, Percival.”

Michael pulls back to smile at him. “I wish…I wish James was here to see us all turn sixty.”

“Thank Christ he’s not…he would have embarrassed the hell out of each of us,” Merlin replies.

“Probably,” Merlin says with a fond sigh.

“Happy birthday, Merlin,” Roxy says politely.

“Thank ye, Lancelot.” He hugs her as well.

“I wanted to get you a cake,” Harry begins.

“But I wouldn’t let him,” Eggsy says, appearing from the kitchen. He’s carrying a small box and a knife. “Know you don’t really like cake.”

“I still don’t understand that. How can you not like cake?”

“I like cake, just not icing. And birthday cakes are mostly icing,” Merlin says defensively. “Too sweet.”

“And that’s why I convinced Arthur to compromise.” Eggsy opens the box. “Ice cream cake.”

“Perfect,” Merlin says, mouth watering. Ice cream is his favorite treat. 

“AFTER you eat a real lunch,” Eggsy says sternly. “Something nutritious.”

“For God’s sake, lad, it’s my birthday.”

“For God’s sake, babe, I want ya to live to see ten more,” Eggsy mimics Merlin’s accent and Roxy snorts. “I ordered you a sandwich and soup.”

“I…” Merlin sighs, knowing he would have ordered the same thing himself. “Ye are too good to me.”

“So true.” Eggsy smiles at him and kisses his forehead. “Cuz you deserve it.”

 

The rest of the day seems to fly by, with a few of the older knights and employees stopping by to give Merlin their best wishes. He thanks them all, smiling fondly as he unwraps a beautiful painting for his office, given by Michael. “I don’t know if you remember…”

“Of course I remember, Percival, thank ye.” Merlin sighs as he looks at the gorgeous Greek countryside. The year Michael, James and Merlin had turned thirty, the three of them had taken a long weekend holiday to Greece. Harry had shown up halfway through to surprise them, and they’d had a wonderful time. “This brings back so many memories.”

“Perhaps we could go back next year,” Michael suggests. “We could bring Eggsy. I think he is more than worthy to take our original Lancelot’s place.”

“Christ, can ye imagine if the two of them had met?” Merlin shakes his head. “None of us would have lived to see sixty.”

“Quite,” Michael says with a grin.

Merlin and Eggsy rarely leave HQ at the same time, and this day is no exception. Merlin proudly reaches the bullet train by 4:58, knowing full well that Eggsy is already at home. True to his word, Harry had done everything he could to make sure nothing kept them at work, a rarity for Merlin.

Merlin is still a little anxious; he knows how creative his husband can be. But when he opens the door to their house, all that greets him is a wonderful aroma wafting from the dining room. “Hey, babe!” Eggsy calls. “Why dontcha go up an’ change…got dinner ready for us. Know it’s early.” He pokes his head out into the hall. “But it came quicker than expected. Ya mind?”

“Of course not, lad. I will be down shortly.”

When Merlin goes upstairs he finds his favorite jumper and “around the house” trousers laid out on the bed. He smiles broadly as he sees an empty hamper. His husband’s most hated chore is laundry, and the bin was overflowing when they’d left that morning. This must be gift number one…Eggsy’s doing the wash.

Merlin changes clothes and slides his feet into his slippers. He almost tiptoes down the stairs, trying not to make a sound. Eggsy is singing in the dining room, a sound Merlin can never hear enough of. Eggsy has a gorgeous voice but rarely lets anyone outside the family hear it. He lingers in the hallway, leaning against the wall and sighing happily. “You fill up my senses…like a night in a forest…like the mountains in springtime…like a walk in the rain…” Merlin’s smile grows. One of his favorite songs.

“And here I expected a string quartet,” he says as he continues down the hall.

“Like I would do that to you.” Eggsy appears in the doorway of the dining room. “Just…wait. One second, all right? Want it perfect.”

Here we go, Merlin thinks. “All right.”

Eggsy adjusts something and reappears at the door. “Okay. Hope Chinese food is acceptable.”

“I suppose,” Merlin says with a disappointed sigh. He’s not fond of “Western” Chinese food and Eggsy knows it, but he’s sure his husband has his reasons. “I…” Merlin stares at the table. There is a beer at Eggsy’s place and a glass of scotch at his own, along with glasses of water. There are candles on the table and their best china at each chair. “Is…is that…”

“That’s what ya like, right?” Eggsy bites at a fingernail, looking twenty years younger. “Couldn’t ask for it myself, of course.”

“How…how did ye do it?” Merlin goes to his seat and looks at his plate. It’s full of his favorite Chinese foods…actual Chinese food.

“Remember a few weeks ago I had you describe what you liked when ya went to China…what your favorite dishes were?” Eggsy blushes. “I might have recorded ya on my phone. I then grabbed Lamorak when he was in town, took him with me to the Chinese place I like. Had him translate for me…crazy how well he speaks Chinese, ain’t it? They said of course they could make it…seemed happy to make the good stuff. Had them deliver it tonight.”

“I haven’t had this in forever.” Merlin practically falls into his seat. “Thank ye so much.”

“Maybe someday soon we could go there together. China, I mean,” Eggsy says quietly. “Never been together.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Merlin reaches for his water and notices something else on the table. “What is this?” He picks up the metal long-stemmed rose and turns it in his hand.

“Found this shop in town…bloke makes sculptures out of recycled stuff…this is made out of computer parts.” Eggsy stirs his food. “Knew you wasn’t the type to want actual flowers.”

“I love it.” Merlin sets it down. “Did he have his own shop or…”

“Was renting space, but yeah, had a bunch of stuff.”

“Perhaps we could go there and buy a few things for the house,” Merlin suggests.

Eggsy smiles. “That sounds great.” He looks pleased by the idea and Merlin knows why. They rarely shop together, as their shopping methods vary greatly. Merlin goes in with a list and a purpose, while Eggsy wanders aisles and buys whatever strikes his fancy.

Merlin takes his time savoring his meal, one of his favorite things on the planet. He’s incredibly touched that Eggsy’s gone to all the trouble. “This is excellent, lad. Thank ye again.”

“Of course. Anything for you.” Eggsy smiles and gets up. “I have a gift for ya.”

“I told you no gifts,” Merlin snaps.

“Not from me, so shut it.” Eggsy gets a box from the table by the wall. “It’s from Daisy. She made you something.”

“Oh.” Merlin smiles. Daisy always tries to make something for his birthday, and he has a drawer full of artwork and projects that he can never use or display. But he knows her heart is in the right place, and he always praises her no matter what. She’s going on thirteen now, and Merlin knows she will soon not care enough to make him a gift. “Oh,” he says in a different tone as he opens the box. “This is beautiful.” He unfolds the beautiful handmade green scarf. 

“Lady down the street been teaching her to knit,” Eggsy tells him. “Sweetest old lady ever. Daisy just adores her, and Mum said when she mentioned wanting to make a gift for her brother-in-law, the lady taught her to knit in like a week. She’s been workin’ on this for a month, though, had to start it over a few times. You can see where she…”

“It’s perfect,” Merlin interrupts, willfully ignoring the obvious holes and dropped stitches. “This is my favorite color, and now my favorite scarf.” He wraps it around his neck and kisses the end.

“Perfect.” Eggsy snaps a picture. “I did get you a gift.”

“Gary Unwin-McNair,” Merlin warns.

“Oh, relax, didn’t cost me nothin’.” He gets another package from the table. “Hate what ya got in your office, figured it was time to change.”

“Interesting.” Merlin opens the paper. “Oh, Eggsy,” he whispers. 

It’s a professional photograph of Eggsy in his best Kingsman suit, casually leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are sparkling and there’s a cheeky grin on his face. “The picture on yer desk is ancient…look like a little kid.”

“Ye were a little kid. Barely twenty-five.”

“Right. An’ since you refuse to sit for a picture with me, I had Roxy take this.”

“I love it. And I love you.” Merlin sighs happily and kisses his husband. “What a wonderful birthday. Quiet and full of the people I love.”

“Ain’t done yet.” Eggsy holds out his hand. “C’mere.”

Merlin stands and allows Eggsy to lead him out of the dining room. “The dishes…”

“…can wait.” Eggsy brings him to the parlor and taps at his phone. Music comes pouring through the tiny speakers by the television. “Dance with me.”

“Leannan,” Merlin whispers. “It’s been forever since we danced.”

“That’s right.” 

Merlin takes Eggsy in his arms and sighs as Eggsy puts his cheek to his chest. Patsy Cline starts to sing about feeling crazy and Merlin sighs again. “Not exactly the most romantic music.”

“No, but it’s one of your favorite songs, and that’s all that matters.” Eggsy pulls back to look him in the eye. “So much of the stuff people do for birthdays ain’t for the birthday person...it’s for everyone else. Today was all about you.”

“Thank ye.” Merlin stops dancing, his throat tight. “Ye…ye paid attention to everything I love. I…I’m so lucky.”

“Yes, ya are, but so am I.” Eggsy smiles. “And I just so happen to be crazy in love with you.”

“I am crazy in love with you.” Merlin gives his husband a tender kiss.

“Happy birthday, Hamish.”


End file.
